May 14th 2011 - When i woke up today,I expected to feel ,if not a burst of exhilaration, at least a trickle of joy. But all i could sense was hollow emptiness bordered with nostalgia. Fleeting glimpses of my fantabulous(for the lack of a better word) childhood passed through my head.Will i ever surround myself with oodles of barbies(bewitched by the golden hair)and lose track of time? Can i fritter away countless number of hours in the children's section, transporting myself to the monopolizing world of Malory towers or Hogwarts ever again? Should i suppress a shriek or turn a deep shade of red when a high pitched giggle escapes my mouth on meeting a long lost friend at the mall? Is it still OK to barge into my parents' room and cuddle up between them when the hallucinations(?!) about deadly roaches haunt me in the wee hours? May i cling to every embossed memory of free flowing adulation received from my loved ones? The 'child' in me has risen, mightier than before,petrified that 'it' might be abandoned FOREVER.
So what does "turning eighteen" signify? Sure I want to "grow"(not an inch taller though..like making eye contact with people without bending my neck isn't hard enough already!)maybe the word evolve would be better..yeah 'evolve' into a serious, mature,level headed being but does that mean i have to don the air of someone who is prim and proper, shedding some of my child like ingenuity?Will I officially be bestowed with the aura of womanhood?(bah! don't like the way it sounds:P) Maybe all the adjectives describing a fine lady will embed themselves in my personality, unconsciously of course;)..I'm terrified of the transition..I would rather be suspended in between..just left hanging in mid air..deliriously obtaining the best of both worlds..seeking solace in my comfort zone,oblivious to the surroundings.Maybe this is cowardice..a convenient escape from reality..but its perfect..FOR NOW :)
So what does "turning eighteen" signify? Sure I want to "grow"(not an inch taller though..like making eye contact with people without bending my neck isn't hard enough already!)maybe the word evolve would be better..yeah 'evolve' into a serious, mature,level headed being but does that mean i have to don the air of someone who is prim and proper, shedding some of my child like ingenuity?Will I officially be bestowed with the aura of womanhood?(bah! don't like the way it sounds:P) Maybe all the adjectives describing a fine lady will embed themselves in my personality, unconsciously of course;)..I'm terrified of the transition..I would rather be suspended in between..just left hanging in mid air..deliriously obtaining the best of both worlds..seeking solace in my comfort zone,oblivious to the surroundings.Maybe this is cowardice..a convenient escape from reality..but its perfect..FOR NOW :)
